hi si dia.

i still remember everything that we used to be,
i still remember every moments we spend together.
i still remember incomplete every wishes and promises...

i'm the one who ask to break so yeah..
i might have no right to say this. :)

BUT,
i still wanna type it out 'cause there's no other way to let me express this sucking feeling.

Hey you,
i'm not over  you yet. sorry to say.
but yes, im not over you yet.
i miss you, wanted to call you and text you but my mind told me not to do so, 'cause you're not mine anymore.
i even don't dare to PM you in facebook.
I EVEN don't dare to add you back in facebook, because you're the one who chose to unfriend me.
HMMM..
you deserved someone better and suitable for you...
i'm sorry if i did hurt you before.
and..
i'm glad that you moved on. :)

hope you can get the new HER and live happily ever after.
I wish to attend your wedding too.. if can :)

we can be best friend.. right?

but in the end, i'll be falling in love with you over and over again..

perhaps its better for us to remain this state, you no find me, and i'm fine with no-one-text-period.

i'm sorry for everything and... thank you for everything.

ps: thanks for that girl judging me for having no self-esteem, YOU DON'T KNOW ME . nvm, i usually don't give a damn fuck 'bout it but this time.. o0o  in your face. Fuck you.

x

新年快樂。

煙花在眼前悄悄滑過。我當時在享受著全身燒焦的雞翅……
沒辦法了，雖然只是看到一點點。我心滿意足了。
長了那麼大，這才只是第二次在晚上自己不跑去睡，想要倒數。
去年是有個人陪著，今年，電腦的輻射比誰都忠誠。
坐在電腦前，看著人們在面書上開心的上傳他們在倒數的狀態，搞得我也很緊張的說啊哈哈

十一點五十五分。
此時此刻，煙花聲好壯觀； 哦不，是壯聲 哈哈
我不要跑出去看煙花，那樣的自己好不矜持哦 -.-
原諒我雄偉的自尊心，讓那珍貴的倒數之夜的煙花能跟我心愛的人一起度過。
好老土哦，我自己的都這麼覺得。

十一點五十八分。

五十九分。

再見了，2011年。你還真的很他嗎的婆媽呢//

12:00 am,
你好啊2012，請多多指教。





2011 的最後一篇，2012 的新開始。

終。xx

anger. ?

gahh, it shouldn't be anger. 

its jealousy.

they say jealousy kills.

it does.

*cough cough* 

im still sick in sore throat and coughing.

everyday before i sleep i'll perform the infinity coughing show.

TROLOLOL.

from people's reaction, 

i became a very hot temper person.

DOyouevenrealize?

hehehehh

a bit a bit nia angry.

a bit a bit nia quarrel with people..

and i was like, whats wrong with me?

...

curse? or.. karma?

never..

hmm idk how to say but..

i really feel confused at many points..

i was influenced by mom for not having a boyfie.

because i thought man cannot be trusted but yet i found a guy who is 27 years old and he treated me good.

ughh, should be saying, he treats everyone nicely.

he is an awesome friend.

at first i was sympathy towards his family background and so on..

but now, he always told me that something that i doesnt expect a MAN will say.

llike, getting married.

he say, its a happiness and a push on life for man to have wife and the little ones waiting for him after work.

'cause its been so far i don't want to believe in man again since 27 March.

when i left him.

i feel depressed and i wanted to get in love with someone else.

to have a REAL relationship.

everytime they ask me for advice in love, i couldn't really answer because i never had those REAL things before.

hahah.

funny. this is very funny.

im a girl who was always saying not to fall in love and have no faith in man but yet i wanted to fall in love again.

such a hypocrite.

btw, perhaps some of the wedding videos encourages me to get married. ? hahaha.

total random-ness.

currently busy-ing with our once-in-a-lifetime class dinner.

its gonna run in a smooth way.

like a wedding. farewell wedding.

ughh emo*

i want to slim down.

i hate my fat body,

im fat. 

and im not pretty.

yet not ugly.

baii.

Monday

Really thanks a lot to God that make me able to wake up this morning. 

I was so excited when waking up in the morning and turn up in the school. I met my so-called long-lost ( one week ) friends. :P 

Thanks to God once again that he enable me to reach school safely and peacefully. 

Found one website, its a Tumblr website. 

and it is super duper ubber awesome.

Heart In God Tumblr.

You will like it. :) 

Shalom. GOD bless all.

Nooneknowsme.

I'm too despite to post my feelings on facebook so I blog indeed.

Random post just to boooost out my feelings.

Life is being more complicated day by day. Through the toughness of life, I realize that everyone only know my name but not my story. This remind me of her. 

She is someone who I respect the most. But indeed, she thought she knows me well like wth. 

She thought that my family is so rich that she can just cancel my name in the list of the netbook that the government is giving out. SHE told me, ''you're too rich for that so I canceled your name in the list.''

I was so angry like ASDFGHJKL, but my mom asked me to forgive her. Maybe she's innocent or perhaps she just look at the NAME of mine? 

alright, I forgive her but still, my heart still can't really calm when I get nearer to her. HAIH.

Dear anybody else, 

I just want you to know that you're not me and you won't know what problems I'm facing and what my life is. I won't know yours either. 

I'm the type of person hardly have friends. I had just open my heart this two years, to knowing more friends outside. But sometimes I overacted and made peoples disliked me. HAIH. I know. I'm overacting. 

I've so many problems so solve but yet too little time and money. IDK much. 

I yelled His name whenever I feel that He is here with me. I know.

I know He will lead me and show me the way. I know..

Put Everything in God's Hands! "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." Psalm 55:22

and..

shalomm. baii. :')

ISCF CAMP. #2

and it ends peacefully with cleaning the hall. And I'm carrying the chairs and the guys are amazed of me. :P I'm not stronger than boys, but I have to be.

Oh Lord, thanks for listening to our prayer and had grant us peace and calmness for the group presentation.

On the sunday morning which is the second day of the iscf camp in st. Thomas school, I'm so afraid and nervous to communicating with the boys, maybe this is because boys lead the majority of the team? :O and theres only 3 girls including me. 

I prayed to God for grant me the opportunity to speaks my mind out. At last, we concludes our presentation with band singing at first, follow by drama acting conducted by ME, Lyndon and Jackson and narrated by Johan. After that will be two songs for Praise and Worships. As a team, we exchanged our ideas for choosing songs. But we give the most respect to the band, leads by Clifford (singer), Jordan (basses), Maximillian ( guitarist) and Reddison (drummer).

I was so glad that my group, the GREEN group can form a band that can sing well and play well ! :D
; we chose ONE WAY for the first band singing, and followed by Here I Am To Worship after the drama and How Great Is Our God for the last song.

For the drama part, ME as the main character which is a not very beautiful girl and has just enter puberty (LOLLOLLOLL), the only book of mine is BIBLE. My costume is the themed T-shirt of the camp and put on a black dotted white scarf and a fake spec to make me looks more nerdy.
And theres the two CUTEEE boys, Jackson as Lu-C-Fur and Lyndon as Sat-an. Trying to bringing me to the dark side of the work which is the HELL club. They asked me to try for drinking and smoking.
When I come out from the club, singing Last Friday Night with Beer, Cigarettes and yeahh my scarf.
*I keep on wondering WHY I can be so funny on the stage* #foreveralone.
Alright and the Last Friday Night makes peoples laugh. :P
I found my BiBLE on the floor and theres the holy spirit asking me to pick up the BIBLE and read it. I then throw everything including scarf, beer, cigarette and yes, my fake spec; I quickly read the BIBLE just like I'm hungry for God's word. Lu-C-Fur and Sat-an come and try to influence me that the BIBLE is not good. Suddenly the BIBLE shines, and I shine the BIBLE at them. They lose and then run away..
I was asked to knee and shout for God's forgiveness. I did it and.. Start the MUSIC BABEHH. :P

I.WILL.UPLOAD.THE.VIDEO.OF.ME.ACTING.ONE.DAY.

And we had our ending with the last-last-last minute slogan,
"G-R-E-N, G-R-E-N, G-R-E-E-N, green, Green, GREEN !! WUUhaa !!"

For the minute, I wanted to thank everyone in Green Team that always keep my suggestions on mind and doesn't mind to change the plan for my suggestions. Thank you!!
-Clifford, Max, Jordan, Reddison, Johan, Jackson, Lyndon, Nigel, Stephanie, Nadia and Aloysius! :D -

Memories of the day. :)

Walking around st.thom and found this mirror, ''I look awesome todayy!!'' 

They have duh aquarium !! 

this is coool. 

while listening to the talk from Pastor Yusuf.

Aloysius, Group leader. and HEHEHH, PRIZES ! :D

Me of the dayy. :)

GREEEEEN group. excluded jordan and stephanie, :( incomplete family.

Shine for christ. :)

I thank Lord that I have an opportunity to join a camp like this within the last year of secondary school. I had regretted so much that I didn't join these activities since I was form 1. I encourage you all students to join these cause you will have a lots of fun. :)

God Bless. Baii.

That should be me.

AWWW, i can't say that loudly. Cause I really truly loved you.

Some bitchs, err, i mean THE BITCH. please shut up your dirty mouth and please keep my place clean whenever you pass through me. And, I really look down on you. :) I never block you in facebook, you blocked me first before I get to block you. okay, my life are more life-ful when you're not bitching around me. BUT, now you unblock me. wtf ? then, whats the main purpose you blocked me before ?

Bitch is always bitch. Once a pelacur, forever a CHICKEN. :D

----------

Sorry for being rude. Thats the things I could say. OR else she would be too over. 

I'm still okay. LAWL.

I got sorethroat D: and its getting more painful. I got inflammation on ma throat.wtfffffffffff.

Its super painful !! I can't even swallow a thing. even my saliva.

God please save !! :( 

--------

.. some nice pictures that talks my moods. enjoyyyyyyyy.

Dream , Is always beautiful.

Oh, yeah ♥

And honestly,

so true. :)

and ended my post with, 

another awe-som-e song by Justin Bieber. <3 

Chaw, peace. /|\. :) 

-Cat

IDK,

=/ hey peoples.

IDK what to feel right now. I like him. He like her. But she loves another him. Its just complicated. :( 

She tagged the him in a post in FB and telling everyone she loves him.

awwwww, wonder how the him would feel. heart broken ? :((

He could sing and faking his smile everytime, anytime, anywhere. 

But who ever bother his broken heart ? =| Sorry, but I always make something to avoid you from being emo. So those are my tactics. buahahaha. :D

I hope it works sometime.

+ and and and +

CAN YOU PLEASE STOP LOOKING AT ME USING THAT KIND OF EYES?

it really make me fall deeper. those puppy eyes..... 

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. *air liur*

-boii, I really hope I don't fall for you but I just can't stop even it really so fuckin damn hurt.

---------

Today we have PJK period and IDK why I so excited 'bout PJK and even sms to my buddies to ask them to bring PJ shirt and PJ with me wtf.

I'm 165cm, and wtf wtf i grow taller ! :D:D

i can stretch my body for 51 cm, push up 15 times D: and sit up 25. ngaitiii. need more exercise liao.

-----

simple update.

Peace, 

Chaw.

-Cat

My friends.

You're nothing without a FRIEND. Even the top genius in the world can't do his work with himself ONLY.

-------------

My friend are amazing. A-we-so-me.

We laugh together, scolding the one get hurt and hug her back at the same time, we joined many many of  activities. Just to enjoy our study life and spend more time together. :)

Bring it to Priscilla.

Pris and me.

She's just like me, like to speak everything out. But she always get emo by herself and try to get it off from crying when bathing. She always wants to hug people and said ILY to everyone she could. Not a cheap 'ILoveYou', but its from sincere heart. She is the naughtiest prefect. She like to talk and she always dare to talk infront of peoples. Her dream is to be a reporter, influenced by her daddy. And, we can gossip 'bout everything. Facebook, texts, chats, blogs, twitter, and etc. Just like we've been knowing each other so long yet we just starting to get closer in this year.And this is what she wrote bout me. :D

I love this. Peace ! ^___^v

I love this picture. Its more than perfect. Everyone of us are smiling really bright. Everyone is beautiful.

Okay lets start with the one with the left one.

Debbie. She is an athlete. We are friends since primary 4 and it was the day we started to train for basketball. I always in the same team with her since primary 4. We have hidden timing ratio and she always know my next move. ILoveHer in everyway. She is just pro in maths and addmaths D: She is very slow-react. LOL. Halogen. HAHAHA. She is slim and, flat. >.> * what I hope is , she found her gila2 mate, that can take care of her, forever. I hope the HE can do this. :) *

Next would be the boy-like-one. HER name is APEK. :)

Real name, Lim Hui Sze which my form teacher don't know how to read. LAWL. She is from Bako and she study in my school D: She need to go back to Bako everynight and come Kuching again every morning. She is the daughter of the owner of a groceries(is that call groceries? o.O) shop. She can always get food and etc from HER father's shop. LAWLLLL. She is the crazy one always doing crazy things. She is always the one scolding you when you're crying. She always say the correct thing. Just believe her and you won't regret. I regrets , twice. She told me I shouldn't fall for inter-relationship. It will be very hard to maintence. AND, she kena it TWICE. omfgee. I will never ignore her words again.

Skipped me and go to Amy.

We are friends since primary 5. When I first tuition at the house that very near to her house. That time I need to tuition at there everyday. And she is the smart one over there. She is very pro in understanding and explain the knowledge that she got to other people. She is getting crazy by day. LOL. x)

When I'm with her, I can hug her, hold her hands and even KISS her (even I never do XD). She's just like my underwear. She always care for me and always think of other people before she do anything. She is a very caring person. She is a tomorrow leader which can lead a bunch of kids to being crazy xD * last hope for her is I-just-want-her-to-be-happy. No matter what. And, I'll always be here babehh. ♥ *

They are my best friends. ILoveThem.

; True friends are those scolding you while hugging you when you're crying after break-up.

Its just a dream.

 

Yeah, its just a dream. I was sleeping and dreaming for 3 months +.

Now I'm awake and scream everything out. 

My fears, my tears.

Its the 7th day you left me.

Tonight, the stars so bright.

Laughter so high.

And I was thinking bout you again tonight..

I do delete all your messages in my inbox and sent items.

But when I reach PICTURES, I failed to click the 'c' key.

I failed.

The pictures.. When he smile, he acting cute, he peace-ing..

I just can't fade it off from my mind.

Sorry. I need to end this 'cause I'm not perfect for you.

:]

 Tears will rushing out when I listen to our songs. :')

I.. can't shout that I'm over you. 'cause I'm not.

Overall.

 

I.. still missing you.

International-Prayer.

Tsunami attacked Japan.

8.9 magnitude earthquake. It just happens in few minutes.

Thousands of people lost their lives. Over thousandss injury. Countless LOST.

 The wave. 10meters high. Can you imagine? Its just high like a few floors high building covers on your housing area, the school you went to, the garden you run with your brothers, the field you slept on and counted the stars...

Its just disappear in few minutes. NO, it should be second.

those places disappears in few seconds.

Everything changed to water. SEA water.

Natural gas explode causes fire.

Japan now is suffer from water and fire.

The two matter we are very familiar with.

They are suffering us ! :(

Japan is a high-educational country. They teached their citizens to have god manner. 

Even they are suffering from very serious disaster, they still have their good manner.

Firstly,  They still queue up infront of the public phone stand.

The train station is stop functioning. There is no noisy sounds and messy condition.

They follow the rules without other telling them. 

Normal school, are opened as the temporarily place that is save to stay.

Women and children are the one who served first.

Even there is no train functioning, they walk home. Even it takes time.

Thats what Japanese do.

Pray. for Japan.

Pray. Hope it ends.

First of March.

Emo-ness. 

When the little bit of light from the sun, brighten the world,

I'm in the shower for the morning.

I thought everything could goes same.

Wakeup-bath-eat-school.

Yeaaa. and yea, thought-ness.

Reaches class, 

took out my fried rice aka breakfast and eat it.

First period was BIO and I remembered that today its the 1st time I wont feel sleepy in monday's bio class. LOL. *claps.

Other periods goes finely as well.

After recess time, P.Moral period, 

Sohaimii is having a spotcheck happily.

All discipline teacher aimed our class, ONLY.

Alpha do bring handphones, but why you all pretended to-dint-see-it?

Its too unfair. Even they are top class, please la, be loyal.

Even Gama also kena rampas 3 phones.

Whats wrong with teacher's world?

They aimed our class strongly and i think they collected at least 15 phones?

Its too UNFAIR.

-but what to do, the real side of the world never fair.

------------------

Kays, my phone kena rampas.

After school, I go back home and go to school again after 30mins home.

For netball training.

Needa be so serious. But no coorperation.

I've been doing everything. 

Invite the coach, grab attentions..

I'm just tired doing these.

Why I cant control situations?

Sometimes just feel like f*ck off.

home at 4 and go work at 4.15pm.

Im so tired.

Exhausted.

But i need to be working early cause only 2 workers tonight.

Needa prepare everything like arrange the chairs and tables and blaa ..

Carry heavy stuffs and yeaa ..

Its tiring for a girl. Even I'm strong enough.

Work-work-work.

Done all works and home.

Damn i forgot to bring my key. + my phone kena rampas.

Using XiaoMei's handphone spam call my parents and my sis.

Lucky my mom ans my call. or else I might ending up by sleep at outside.

-------

+I bleed my toe. and the kayu of the table cucuk in my hand.

I feel so lonely and I need him.

He online few ours ago. but he never wanted to post me a comment or sth else.

Maybe he don't want?

Hahaaa. Guessing , its all my life.

'cause he won't tell me what he is doing or happen.

so everything I can do is just, predicting. :')

---------

Pm my berry atok on facebook. ;3 since he still online. LOL.

He straight then know I got probs.

waahhaha. 

He said I can't lie. I'm noob in cover lies.

And I always lie to myself.

Yeaaa. I always do.

Lies.

Lied to myself that everything is gonna be alright soon.

Lied to myself that I'm happy.

Lied to myself that I can survive with his little of love.

Lied to myself that I can live without a phone.

Lied to myself that I can not-to-stick-to-him.

...

Sorry, I lied too many things.

Darling Grace also ask me to cry everything out.

yeaa. I cried since Berry say im lie-ing.

and , yeaa , i cry even harder.

Just let the tears do the job.

Bring away everything that i don't need.

and I still can smile , on the morning of the First of March.

She is beautiful. :')

----------

First of March.

I asked you why is this date so special and I need you to accompany me, at least for this day?

You answered you don't know.

Okayy, imma tell you now.

the 3rd monthsary. 

Yeaa. you won't remember.

Maybe your life is being too busy or craps, you don't want to remember.

-Sorry if you felt im so annoying, I was too good to you. made you don't even want to care of what im thinking or what my mood is. seriously, you don't even want to cheer me up when im no mood.-

I wonder we could pass the 3rd month?

... i really dont know

If you really love me, please, make some effort on me. 

If you really love me, please, show more caring on me.

If you really love me, please, sacrifice 1 hour of sleeping for me.

If you really love me, please, bring your charger along wherever you go.

If you really love me, please, take time to accompany me.

If you really love me, please, don't too shy to show it.

If you really love me, please, take your promises serious.

If you really love me, please, let me know that you loves me.

I wanted to say this all, for long time ady.

This may showed im very annoying, [yeaa, i know that]

 I always try to be understanding before, 

sometimes failed and sometimes success.

I hope we can last longer, but its only after I talk with you about us.

hope our love last till this stage.

Please, take time to talk with me. 

ILY. :')

If we can't hold onto, just leave. :') 

-But I never want this to happen.-

love。

Baii. :')

Life really short. Appreciates eveything in everyway.

Love isn't hard. Appreciates and everything will be okay.

Just finish calling him.

He is sleepin'. LOL. >)

I'm so glad to have him in my life.

He is my noob besar. And Im the noob kechik. ;p

Aiks, so bad baa. I get this penyakit from him. x)

Well, love treats me good today.

I taught everything will be like normal without him.

Mana tau, I felt and wanna stick with him all the time.

We called and see each other in msn wc,

I miss you so much.♥

Boyy, your hair long ady. Need haircut liaww. +my mom x suka laki rambut panjang2. xD

Idk why, how what to say. I JUST fallinlove with your sweet sweet smile.

Kays, promised him to sleep early also. x3

Seriously, I hope everyday can be like today. 

Sweet enough to smooth my day.  

--------------------------------

I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

❤

--------------------------------

Yeahh im fatcat bhaaa. >)

Pak cik ejat x beranak..I l♥ve youuuu.<3 hee.

,love；

Baii☆.

Klois. Izzat. Ezad. = Baka. ♥

Well, everything had gone peacefully.

-Even there's war before xD

But Thanks God everything was end.
And grant me another him.

::Akatsuki Blazey,
Thanks for take care for me for that 1 month+ time. :)
I'm happy to be with you.
But she love you more.
And so are you.
I'm glad that you do your decision correctly. C:
So this Baka Klois can come into my life xD


::SilentBlack Flame-Naisha-,
Girl, I'm sorry for all my wrongs and I hope you forgive me too.
Now I know how faith brings you two along, walking and passing all the danger holding each other's hand.
I'm glad that you could let him back to your side, letting him giving you all of his love. Caring and evrything.


::To both of you,
Now, grab each other's hand, holding it tightly.
Don't ever let go this 4 years+ relationship. :)
I send my best wishes for you two. ♥
Be happy and loyalty, trust each other and never let go neither which side. (:





_________________________________________________________________________________


-Now its time for my baka Klois ,
Baby,
You know me, whenever、whoever、whatever condition it is.
Baby,
Your smile melts me.
Baby,
Your baka face are just toooo cuteee for me :P
Baby,
Our plan will be happening. x)
Baby,
actually....
erm..
You know what I wanna say :) teeheee :3



You always touch me by your works, but not words only.

*He waited me, stay awake for me. Just in case that I'm awake and can't find him.
*Even he didn't sleep for whole day, night forward.
*Keep evrything for me.
*Wanna bring me to his mom.
*Wanna see my parents.
*Arrange for our future. 

♥ Few thingys already stolen my heart. ♥



At first, I was thinking that he will only be my sifu in sdo XD
But, something flows inside us make our heart beat became faster and faster.

I still remembered that you said,
-Eh i wanna ask something but i dun know how to ask-
I said,
-Just ask anything you want ar-
YOU said,
-i wanna ask if you r single i wan make u my gf-
-^_^-
I ans,
-erm-
-you know my answer <3-

teeheeehe :3 then..
couple la XD

I bought webcam, and on it :) saw each other's time is the best time of the day ! >3<

See his baka face, it's enough for me to fulfill me for whole day's missing him.

When he smile.. Awww... Melts me.
Super sweet smile. 

When he do something.. Sure I know. XD
Super natural power./play cool XD

When he worried bout me..
I can feel something weird flowing inside me.

His baka face.. 
Show ALL of his feeling.
Never COVER.

This is him.
Isn't it?
That baka. Just only know how to treat people good.
Forever a cheer up-er.

ILOVEHIM. :) ♥
AND HE DO LOVE ME TOO. 
Answer from his smile. :))




Written down for 3 days. XD
Now, waiting for him to wake to webcam with me again !
XD

People call him KING.
SO thats mean. I'm the queen? :O hehehe ♥



Expressed by 
Klois's DeviL_|ui.
♥