Hates.

Get free from everything.

I almost die last on last friday night. under his hand. the man I have to love but I had already hated him to the max. 

He was so drunk and I was waiting him to fetch me from tuition. I waited him alone. My phone credit expired. I cant contact anyone. I thought everything will be fine like usual. but this time my wish is not granted and something unusual is happened. 

He drive so fast and he stop so fast. I can't describe. UGHH. He stop infront of my tuition center and was yelling that he is very sick. he can't even drive. he drive like snake. yeahh seriously. he is so smelly. the smell of cigarettes and alcohols. leading me to puke and nervous. i am soo not secure. i scared that i will die in next second when i open my eyes. im so scared that my hands is freeze and trying so hard to close my eyes everytime he stops suddenly and at the turning point. im so scared that i prayed to god and ask him to save me from this situation. im so scared that i die and my mom and cheryl and amanda got no one to take care of them. im so scared. 

when i arrived home, im so glad that i didnt die. i didnt get injured. i didnt get any police chasing us. ughh. thanks to god. 

i keep wondering why he needs to be so drunk?

He cant even remember how he fetch me home on last friday night. 

his car plate is missing.

he is wondering whether he knock people and cause them to die.

he said he wont drink again.

he said this more than TRICE. 

alright, 

its his birthday. 3rd of sept.

the whole family, too hate him. doesnt want to wish him anything. we dont even have breakfast or lunch nor dinner together. i just dont wanna meet him. i know that im not suppose to do this but i hate him. i have to forgive him but i have not enough faith. im trying hard to forgive but yet i cant. honestly, im planning for run away from here. run away from him and everything over here. start a new life with only mom, cheryl and amanda. my only family LEFT.

probably if i didnt keep believing, today will be funeral of us. die in car accident or etc. 

you had done so much things that made us hate you. you know what is it, please. if you still love us, show it. 

i got nothing left to say.

happy birthday, most hated dad.

k baii. chaww.

i hope i can love you again.